Why Men Pull Away When Women Get Close
Formanywomen,amantendstopullawaypreciselyatthetimewhenshewantstotalkandbeintimate.
Thisoccursfortworeasons.
I.Awoman willunconsciouslysensewhenamanispullingaway andprecisely atthosetimesshewill
attempttoreestablishtheirintimateconnectionandsay"Let'stalk."Ashecontinuestopullaway,she
mistakenlyconcludesthathedoesn'twanttotalkorthathedoesn'tcareforher.
2 .Whenawomanopensupandsharesdeeperandmoreintimatefeelingsitmayactuallytriggeraman's
needtopullaway.Amancanonlyhandlesomuchintimacybeforehisalarmbellsgooff,sayingitistime
tofindbalancebypullingaway.Atthemostintimatemomentsamanmaysuddenlyautomaticallyswitch
tofeelinghisneedforautonomyandpullaway.
Itisvery confusing for awoman whena man pullsaway becausesomething shesaysordoes often
triggershisdeparture.Generallywhenawomanstartstotalkaboutthingwithfeelingamanstartstofeel
thisurgetopullaway.Thisisbecausefeelingsdrawmencloserandcreateintimacy,andwhenamangets
toocloseheautomaticallypullsaway.
Itisnotthathedoesn'twanttohearherfeelings.Atanothertimeinhisintimacycycle,whenheneedsto
getclose,thesamefeelings thatcouldhavetriggeredhisdeparturewilldrawhimcloser.Itisnotwhat
shesaysthattriggershisdeparturebutwhenshesaysit.
WHENTOTALKWITHAMAN........................................................................................................
Whenamanispullingawayisnotthetimetotalkortrytogetcloser.Lethimpullaway.Aftersometime,
hewillreturn.Hewillappearlovingandsupportiveandwillactasthoughnothinghashappened.Thisis
thetimetotalk.
Atthisgoldentime,whenamanwantsintimacyandisactuallyavailabletotalk,womengenerallydon't
initiateconversations.Thisoccursforthesethreecommonreasons:
I. Awomanis afraid to talkbecausethelasttimeshewantedtotalk hepulledaway.Shemistakenly
assumesthathedoesn'tcareandhedoesn'twanttolisten.
2 .Awomanisafraidthemanisupsetwithherandshewaitsforhimtoinitiateaconversationabouthis
feelings.Sheknowsthatifsheweresuddenlytopullawayfromhim,beforeshecouldreconnectshewould
needtotalkaboutwhathappened.Shewaitsforhimtoinitiateaconversationaboutwhatupsethim.He,
however,doesn'tneedtotalkabouthisupsetfeelingsbecauseheisnotupset.
3 .Awomanhassomuchtosaythatshedoesn'twanttoberudeandjustbegintalking. Tobepolite,