Amonthlaterhegoesonyetanothertrip. Asheleaveswithhissword,theprincessremindshimtobe
carefulandtellshimtotakethenoose.Onhiswayhome,heseesyetanotherdragonattackingthecastle.
Thistimeherushesforwardwithhisswordbuthesitates,thinkingmaybeheshouldusethenoose.Inthat
momentofhesitation,thedragonbreathesfireandburnshisrightarm.Inconfusionhelooksupandsees
hisprincesswavingfromthecastlewindow.
"Usethepoison,"sheyells."Thenoosedoesn'twork."
She throwshim the poison, which hepoursintothe dragon'smouth, and the dragon dies. Everyone
rejoicesandcelebrates,buttheknightfeelsashamed.
Amonthlater,hegoesonanothertrip.Asheleaveswithhissword,theprincessremindshimtobecareful,
andtobringthenooseandthepoison.Heisannoyedbyhersuggestionsbutbringsthemjustincase.
Thistimeonhisjourneyhehearsanotherwomanindistress.Asherushestohercall,hisdepressionis
liftedandhefeelsconfidentandalive.Butashedrawshisswordtoslaythedragon,heagainhesitates.He
wonders,ShouldIusemysword,thenoose,orthepoison?Whatwouldtheprincesssay?
Foramomentheisconfused.Butthenheremembershowhehadfeltbeforeheknewtheprincess,back
inthedayswhenheonlycarriedasword.Withaburstofrenewedconfidencehethrowsoffthenooseand
poisonandchargesthedragonwithhistrustedsword.Heslaysthedragonandthetownspeoplerejoice.
Theknightinshiningarmorneverreturnedtohisprincess.Hestayedinthisnewvillageandlivedhappily
everafter.Heeventuallymarried,butonlyaftermakingsurehisnewpartnerknewnothingaboutnooses
andpoisons.
Remembering thatwithin every man isa knight in shining armorisa powerfulmetaphorto help you
rememberaman'sprimaryneeds.Althoughamanmayappreciatecaringandassistancesometimes,too
muchofitwilllessenhisconfidenceorturnhimoff.
NOWYOUMAYBEUNKNOWINGLYTURNINGOFFYOURPARTNER.................................................
Withoutanawarenessofwhatisimportantfortheoppositesex,menandwomendon'trealizehowmuch
theymaybehurtingtheirpartners.Wecanseethatbothmenandwomenunknowinglycommunicatein
waysthatarenotonlycounterproductivebutmayevenbeaturnoff.
Menandwomengettheirfeelingshurtmosteasilywhenthey donotgetthekindofprimarylovethey
need.Womengenerallydon'trealizethewaystheycommunicatethatareunsupportiveandhurtfultothe
maleego.Awomanmaytrytobesensitivetoaman'sfeelings,butbecausehisprimaryloveneedsare
differentfromhers,shedoesn'tinstinctivelyanticipatehisneeds.
Throughunderstandingaman'sprimary loveneeds, awoman can bemoreawareandsensitivetothe