When a woman talks about problems,
a man mistakenly assumes that she is
asking him what to do about them.Whether she really is asking a question or he is mistakenly
thinking she is asking him to suggest an answer to her problem,
a woman needs to understand what turns a man off. It is not
just asking a question that is a turnoff; it is how she responds
to his answers that makes the difference. If he gets the message
that she appreciates his answer, then he will become more in-
terested in her, but if he gets the message that his answer is
not enough, then he will eventually become annoyed.
With so much confusion between men and women, it is
amazing that they ever get together and stay together. It is no
wonder there is so much divorce once people do fall in love.
Without an understanding of our differences, these very little
issues eventually escalate into the enormous tensions that give
rise to divorce.
When dating couples learn to master these basic communic-
ation skills, they can experience the success, intimacy, and
fulfillment in their relationship that not only encourage them
to move through the five stages of dating but also ensure that
they continue to grow in love for a lifetime. In Chapter 15 we
will explore some simple ways to apply this new understand-
ing of how men and women think, feel, and communicate
differently.
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