may find you do have something to say. Ask her what she
liked about the movie or dinner. When you let her talk about
it, she will be able to appreciate you more. By listening to her
talk about the date, you will get more points than you got from
actually taking her on the date. If you call first before she calls
you, then you get bonus points.
When you call, if you get her answering machine, let her
know you had a great time and then ask her to call you and
give her times when you will be available.
- Call to See If the Attraction Is More or Less
Men commonly make the mistake of thinking the attraction
is less than it is. After a date, it is a good practice to date a
woman again just to see what happens with the attraction. If
you are not going to date her again, at least give her a call and
talk to see how you feel when talking to her. Sometimes the
way she reacts to a call may win you over and rekindle feelings
that you may have forgotten. Calling a woman after a date
does not mean that you have to ask her out again. It is fine to
be unsure. If she makes the mistake of asking, just say you’re
busy this week.
Although many of us make snap judgments on a first date,
for some of us they are not always right. Generally, if the at-
traction is still there after a date, then it is not only good but
fun to pursue it. Remember, taking a woman out a few times
does not mean you are leading her on. It is leading her on only
if you are sure she is not the right person for you and you be-
have as if she could be.
As we have discussed, when you are feeling uncertain, it is
important to continue pursuing a relationship until the attrac-
tion dissipates or increases. If you pursue a relationship to its
completion, then your future ability to discern and be
240 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.