To him she is saying, “I trust you can handle my having a
different point of view. I accept you the way you are; you don’t
have to be just like me and I still like you. I appreciate having
this conversation with you; it is stimulating to have a difference
of opinion.” This message is music to his ears.
Receptivity Embraces the DifferencesAccepting a man while disagreeing with him makes him
feel free to be different. Men instinctively know that in many
ways they are not like women. When a woman deals with their
differences in a positive manner it frees him to be different.
He feels free when he does not have to be like her to be liked
and loved by her.
In return, he will become very interested and give her the
respect she deserves, acknowledging that she is unique and
different. Having a positive and open attitude about our differ-
ences causes men and women to be more attractive to each
other.
Men are generally very open to women’s being different. A
man closes down to a woman’s different way of looking at
things only when he feels unfairly attacked or blamed. When
a man does not feel blamed or judged for being different, then
he is much more receptive to her way of being and is happy
to find a middle ground.
THE THIRD ATTRIBUTE: RESPONSIVENESS
The third attribute that makes a woman most attractive is re-
sponsiveness. A man loves a woman with a smile. A man loves
to feel he can make a difference. A man is most interested in
pursuing a woman when he gets clear messages that he can
make her happy. It actually gives a man energy to anticipate
being successful in making her happy.
286 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.