While a man tends to question whether he
wants to pursue a relationship, a woman tends
to question where the relationship is going.
In the uncertainty stage, when a woman doesn’t understand
a man, she may easily begin to panic. During the attraction
stage he was coming on so strong, and now he is not. If she
doesn’t understand the stage of uncertainty, a host of feelings
may arise. These are some common reactions.
WHAT A WOMAN ASKS
- Did I do something wrong?
- Is there someone else?
- Does he still care?
- Will he call?
- Am I doing the right things?
- Am I doing enough?
- What can I do to regain his attention, interest, affection, and
desire?
Unfortunately, all of these questions lure her in the wrong
direction; she begins to pursue him. When a man stops pursu-
ing, a woman’s task is to resist the enormous urge to find out
what has happened or to do something about it.
For a woman, the stage of uncertainty should be a time to
reflect on what she is getting from the man, not on what she
could get. This is a time for the woman to stay open to his fu-
ture advances, but more important, it is a time to fill up her
life with the support of friends. This is a time to test whether
he is really the right person for an exclusive relationship.
STAGE TWO: UNCERTAINTY / 51