If a woman’s reaction to uncertainty is to pursue a man, it
can actually prevent him from moving through his uncertainty
to discover whether he wants to invest in a relationship or not.
This is why, traditionally, women don’t call men. The wise
woman waits for him to pursue her. Yet there is a time for a
woman to call. It is foolish to wait passively. A wise woman
can create the opportunity for a man to pursue her.
WHAT TO DO WHEN HE DOESN’T CALL
If, in the uncertainty stage, a man does not call for a while, it
is a good idea for the woman to give him a call but not to
pursue him or tell him how she feels about being ignored. In-
stead she can casually let him know that all is well. She can
call just to say hi, to thank him for something, or to ask a
question that he has some expertise about. It is just a short,
friendly sounding call, so he clearly gets the message that she
is not harboring any resentment because he didn’t call. The
worst thing she can do is to call him and interrogate him about
his feelings about her and the relationship.
The worst thing a woman can do is to call a
man and interrogate him about his feelings
about her and the relationship.Sometimes when a man is in stage two he temporarily forgets
about a woman. Two days, two weeks, or even two months
can pass by in a flash, and then suddenly he remembers how
much he likes a woman. He thinks about calling but anticipates
that he will be scolded or rejected for taking so long to call. So
he decides to not call and moves on. If he has received a
friendly call, then he gets the clear message
STAGE TWO: UNCERTAINTY / 53