Tom and His Comfort ZoneLouise questioned, “Why is it that we keep doing the same
things? In the beginning our dates were fun and interesting,
but now Tom just wants to do the same things over and over.”
Louise didn’t realize that Martians are creatures of habit in
many ways. When they find a formula that works, they just
keep doing it over and over. Their thinking is, Why risk failure
by changing things when you have a surefire formula for suc-
cess?
Quite often, as soon as a man reaches stage three, he finds
his comfort zone. He will tend to repeat the things he has done
to get there, and not try new things. If he has taken her to a
particular restaurant and she liked it, then he will continue to
go back. He does not realize that one of the main reasons she
liked it was that it was new and different. Women like variety.
They like to try new things and have new experiences. By
continuing to take risks and try new things, a man is assured
of successfully moving through stage three.
Jose Stopped Offering to HelpMaria complained, “As soon as we started being exclusive,
Jose stopped offering to help me do things. He would come
over to my apartment and watch TV while I was making din-
ner. In the beginning, he would always offer to help. Then, I
couldn’t believe it: He started treating me like a servant. He
expected me to do everything for him.”
Before they were exclusive, Jose wanted to let Maria know
that he was happy to help her with anything. To make sure
she knew his intentions, he offered to help with washing the
car, carrying bags, moving boxes, driving her places, making
dinner, and fixing things around the house. Then he stopped.
Maria mistakenly assumed that he now expected her to
76 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.