Guarding your space ..........................................................................
In addition to clarifying ownership of people and possessions, people jeal-
ously guard the space that immediately surrounds them. Humans create an
invisible bubble around themselves in which they function. Placing objects
between yourself and others, spreading your arms across your desk, and
wrapping your arms around yourself are ways of guarding your personal
space.
In normal circumstances most people respect one another’s personal terri-
tory. Sometimes, however, space invasion is unavoidable. When an invasion
of your space occurs, you feel uncomfortable. Another person entering your
space can penetrate your guard. Fine, if you’ve invited that person in. Not so
good if you neither know the person, nor want him there. Even when their
personal space is invaded, people still find ways to limit the invasion as much
as possible. Consider these examples:
Turning your head awayAvoiding eye contact
Pulling into yourselfBeth was walking her dog, Bertie, along a country lane when Phillipa, a
woman Beth knew and didn’t much care for, pulled up next to them in her
new Range Rover. ‘Hello! Haven’t seen you for ages,’ Phillipa called out, jump-
ing down from the car and giving Beth a hug. Grudgingly, Beth turned her
head to avoid having to touch the woman’s cheek with her own lips, and left
her arms by her side, her excuse being that she was unable to let go of
Bertie’s lead. It wasn’t until Phillipa had driven off that the stiffness around
Beth’s shoulders and neck was released, and she felt comfortable again.
Wait to be invited into the Close Intimate Zone to avoid causing offence,
discomfort, or embarrassment.
Revealing comfort or discomfort .....................................................
How near, how far, and at what angle you position yourself in relation to
someone else, indicates how relaxed you feel with that person. Sitting com-
fortably amongst friends you probably sit close to one another. Your body
leans towards them, and your eyes are engaged. Amongst people you prefer
you weren’t with, your body angles away. You avoid eye contact and you pull
back. It’s clear that you don’t want to connect.
Putting distance and objects between yourself and another person can make
for an awkward conversation. Stand too far away and you may come across
Chapter 12: Territorial Rights and Regulations 201