Body Language

Using Open Gestures ...................................................................................

Open gestures welcome people and invite them to come into your territory.

By showing that you are attentive, comfortable, and at ease with people you

make yourself appear warm and approachable. And warm and approachable

equals attractive.

If your tendency is to cross your arms over your chest or to shove your

hands into your pockets, resist the temptation and open your arms, showing

the palms of your hands instead. Barrier signals keep people away and make

you look cold, distant, and uninviting. Open gestures encourage others to

enter your environment and demonstrate that you accept and appreciate

who they are.

Showing Interest Through Your Posture ...................................................

Upright, erect posture is infinitely more appealing than a slumped, unrespon-

sive physique. That’s not to say that you have to be rigid and stiff. On the

contrary, you want your body to be flexible and alert to draw people to you

and make them comfortable in your presence.

When you’re seated in an informal situation lean backwards and adopt an

asymmetrical position. Have a go at resting one arm over the back of the

chair. Try other positions. Open, relaxed postures are more inviting and

attractive than having both arms squeezed tightly by your sides. They take

less effort, too.

If you want to show interest, lean slightly forward using a symmetrical pos-

ture. This balanced position shows that you’re focused on the other person

and paying attention to him. If you act as if you’re curious about that person

and care about him, he’s automatically going to be drawn to you.

Positioning Yourself .....................................................................................

Attractive people respect others. They take into account another person’s

point of view and show consideration for the other person’s feelings. They

seem to have an innate understanding of what makes someone feel good and

what causes offence. They know when to be close and personal, and when to

back off.

Chapter 18: Ten Ways to Reveal Your Attractiveness 273