Attraction Isn't A Choice

(Kiana) #1

that they generate a very special kind of attention from the person with whom
you’re flirting. Making fun of them, being slightly too intense towards them,
alluding to sex, etc., all not only generate attention because they‘re
unexpected, but focus that attention specifically on the chemistry between the
two of you.


Unpredictability leads to an atmosphere where both people want to know
what‘s coming next, especially the woman. Even if you‘re doing it on purpose,
she‘ll want to know what‘s coming next... she may laugh, she may not be able
to think of how to respond, and she may even get upset, but this is not
necessarily a bad reaction.


In fact, if you turn it up a notch instead of backing it down when she‘s
―fakes being upset‖, she‘ll usually just be more attracted to you because
you‘re displaying even more strength and unpredictability.


A woman wants someone that can make her feel. Feeling both good and
bad is much more rewarding than feeling nothing, which is what she normally
feels in reaction to the boring and meaningless praise she normally receives
from most guys.


Being unpredictable makes you more fun and interesting to be around.


Being unusual in a flirtatious way typically increases attraction.


The Usual And The Unusual


To explain what you show by being unusual first we need to examine the
usual...


Think about this question for a minute:


Where does what‘s considered normal come from?


While ―hard-wiring‖ and instincts are still behind a lot of our behaviors, we
also instinctively look to others to learn how to express or to pursue those
instincts. For example, while we may have an instinct to talk, the particular
language or languages we use are whatever we heard around us when we
were learning to speak.


We remain very conscious of how others do things our whole lives. Even as
adults, when we‘re in a situation we‘ve rarely encountered, we first look for an
example either from people around us or by imagining what people we know
would do. Only if we can‘t find one do we try to figure a way to respond on our
own.


Think of all the times someone has asked you how to do something you
thought was obvious, e.g. giving driving directions, programming an electronic
device, cooking a certain recipe, etc. You yourself have probably asked for

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