© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information. A suggestive poem written on her mirror
An email with a mysterious and flirtatious story
A piece of chocolate left somewhere on her desk with no hint as to who gave it
A voicemail with a short, open-ended message (“What are you thinking about right
now, as you hear my voice?” Click.) Mystery.As always, these gestures should be extremely limited at the start, and used as
maintenance later. They should not directly state your feelings or desires. Give her something to
puzzle over for hours. She wants to wonder, so give her the gift of mystery. If she has come on
stronger to you, and you’re very sure of her interest level in you, then you can talk a little more
about your interest in her, but always show it first.
Just Say No! (Women)......................................................................................................................
Women don’t want to say no to you. I’m not talking about when you start pawing your
hand down her jeans on the first date; for that, she’ll gladly tell you No. What I’m talking about is
when you ask her for her number, or for a date, and she comes up with answers that seem like
she’s just making it difficult.
Women don’t want to hurt your feelings, and as a result, they do not say “No, I’d rather
not go on a date with you.” What they say instead is something like: “Well, gosh, I’d like to, but
my aunt from Warsaw is coming in town. I’ll be really busy making sausage with her.” Then, the
guy usually starts throwing out alternatives, or generally not getting the hint when she’s not
saying it to him directly. Sometimes a woman’s refusal is just a playful resistance that you have
to break down and get past. You need to realize that women are not going to be curt or
abrasive; they want to let you down as nicely as they can. You have to be able to read between
the lines and hear what she’s really saying, or tell her what you think she’s saying and see if she
confesses. She doesn’t want to feel bad, either, so she will say what she must to avoid this.
Close .................................................................................................................................................
If she accepts your offer, then you close with:“Lisa, that sounds great.” (Don’t start saying wimpy stuff like “Oh, I’m so looking
forward to seeing you again”, blah blah blah.) “I’ll see you at six on Wednesday at Borders
Bookstore. Now, Lisa, you’re not one of those girls who would set up a meeting and then back
out, are you? One of my pet peeves is people who are late or flaky.” Listen to her fall all over
herself to tell you about how she’ll be there, she’s always on time, yadda yadda. What she’s
doing is selling herself on showing up, reinforcing it in her mind, as well as forcing her to live up
to an identity you have helped her establish – a reliable person who will show up, on time.
You’ve also made it clear what your expectations and standards are. That’s self-confidence.