© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.gets things exciting again. A couple that says, “Oh, it’s so wonderful; we never fight!” is kidding
themselves. No fighting = no passion.
A woman starts an argument for one of three reasons:
- She has a legitimate gripe or complaint, and she’s angry
- She’s feeling an emotional need for attention and drama
- She’s in a bad mood or PMS-ing.
(Or any combination of these three.)
That being said, I think most men would love to find the magic key to winning all
arguments with women. I have this key, but I’m not sure if you’re going to like the solution. It
works almost every single time, if you know how to use it correctly. If you do it right, you earn
her respect and avoid unnecessary drama. If you do it wrong, you could end up a henpecked
wimp. The solution is this:
Delay every argument.
And, if you cannot delay the argument, let her “win.”The first key is to avoid the argument entirely. You can simply tell say something like:
“Anita, I appreciate that you want to talk about this right now, but I’m not prepared to discuss
this with you. Let’s talk about it a little later. I’ll think about it some more and we can come back
to it.” She will very likely not accept this at first. The emotional nature of an argument is that she
will feel very attached to hashing it out right now, and if you don’t go along, it’s only more
reason to stomp her feet and pout. You have to find the backbone and resolve to not give in and
get into it.
The number one reason you want to try delaying an argument is that almost nine times
out of ten the argument was just an emotional outburst, and it will just dissolve on its own
without having to get into a power struggle. There’s no sense wasting energy on a situation that
will clear itself up if you just let it pass on by.
The second reason for delaying is that men are incapable of putting up a good defense
to a woman when they’re caught off guard. When her arguments come up, you will not be
fighting her on a level playing field. She’ll throw everything at you from an emotional standpoint,
and engage your emotions as well. The disadvantage you have is that men can only argue
effectively with logic, and you’ll just get into another senseless power struggle – likely ending
with no sex. Men tend to react rather than listen. Delay until you can detach yourself from the
emotional aspect of what she is saying and hear her out, without reacting.
If you absolutely cannot avoid an argument, you should then understand that the best
way to survive – intact – is to not try to win the argument, especially not the way you would
with another man. I’m not saying that you let her walk all over you, either. What you need to do
is to avoid getting into a debate over who was right and who was wrong. You’ll always lose,
even when you “win.” The more you try to be right, the more she will dig in her heels and cross
her arms, and you won’t get any for quite a while. What you should understand is the wisdom of
the East that says: