The Definitive Book of Body Language

Mirroring - How We Build Rapport

yawning was to oxygenate the body but we now know that it's

a form of mirroring that serves to create rapport with others

and to avoid aggression — just as it also does for monkeys and

chimps.

Wearing the same outfit as another woman

is a mirroring no-no. But if two men show up

at a party wearing the same outfit, they

could become lifelong friends.

Non-verbally, mirroring says 'Look at me; I'm the same as you.
I feel the same way and share the same attitudes.' This is why
people at a rock concert will all jump to their feet and applaud
simultaneously or give a 'Mexican Wave' together. The syn-
chronicity of the crowd promotes a secure feeling in the
participants. Similarly, people in an angry mob will mirror
aggressive attitudes and this explains why many usually calm
people can lose their cool in this situation.
The urge to mirror is also the basis on which a queue works.
In a queue, people willingly co-operate with people they have
never met and will never see
again, obeying an unwritten
set of behavioural rules while
waiting for a bus, at an art
gallery, in a bank or side by
side in war. Professor Joseph
Heinrich from the University
of Michigan found that the
urges to mirror others are
hardwired into the brain
because co-operation leads to
more food, better health and

Learning to mirror our parents

begins early: Prince Philip and a

young Prince Charles in perfect step