The Definitive Book of Body Language

Courtship Displays and Attraction Signals

mistake friendliness and smiling for sexual interest. This is

because men see the world in more sexual terms than women;

men have 10 to 20 times more testosterone than women, which

makes them see the world in terms of sex.

To some men, when a lady says 'no' she means

maybe; when she says 'maybe' she means 'yes'; but

if she says 'yes' she's no lady.

When they meet a possible partner, women send out subtle,
but often deceptive, courting signals to see whether he's worth
pursuing. Women tend to bombard men with courting rituals
in the first minutes of meeting them. Men may misinterpret
these signals and make a clumsy pass. By sending erratic and
ambiguous signals in the early stages, women manipulate men
into showing their hand. This is one reason why many women
have trouble attracting men — men become confused and won't
make an approach.

The Attraction Process

As with other animals, human courtship follows a predictable
five-step sequence that we all go through when we meet an
attractive person.

Stage 1. Eye contact: She looks across the room and spots a

man she fancies. She waits till he notices her then holds his

gaze for about five seconds and then turns away. He now

keeps watching her to see if she does it again. A woman needs

to deliver this gaze, on average, three times before the average

man realises what's happening. This gaze process can be

repeated several times and is the start of the flirting process.

Stage 2. Smiling: She delivers one or more fleeting smiles.

This is a quick half smile that is intended to give a prospec-