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.WEEK 2
“Oh, I wouldn’t know.
I’m off Instagram.”
Feeling mysterious and cool,
I was positively horny to
talk about my new lifestyle,
like a college junior search-
ing for reasons to bring up
the transformative acid trip
they had in Amsterdam.
When anyone referenced
a recent flurry of IG activ-
ity, I cleared my throat and
yelled, “SORRY, I DON’T
KNOW WHAT YOU’RE
TALKING ABOUT, AS I AM
NOT CURRENTLY ON
THE APP INSTAGRAM!!!!”
Were people annoyed?
Absolutely. Did I care? No!WEEK 3
Wait, did my commute
get longer?
In my life B.I.B. (Before
Instagram Break), I spent my
trip to work scrolling,
tapping, and refreshing.
Now I used the 20-minute
train ride to answer emails.
Productive, yes, but
soon, I started yearning
for that mindless scroll.
So I embarked on my
least favorite phone chore:
cleaning out my camera
roll. This will take weeks,
I thought, looking through
7,000 selfies and blurry
food photos. It took me one
and a half commutes, and
I descended back
into boredom-slash-email.WEEK 4
Instagram who?
It takes 21 days to form a
new habit, according
to the pop-psychology book
Psycho-Cybernetics. And
also according to me. At the
dawn of my fourth Insta-free
week, I awoke, for the first
time, still of thumb and clear
of mind. The vague pain
in my right wrist was gone.
I blew dust off a journal
I bought in 2007 and wrote
down several sentences for
fun. In a beautiful moment
of clarity, I called my boy-
friend to tell him, “My
brain is more powerful now.
I actually find myself
considering things!!!”WEEKS 5 AND 6
The crossword phase
Lying in bed one Saturday
morning, on the brink of
death by boredom, I down-
loaded the New York Times
crossword app and ripped
through my first puzzle.
The high from this experi-
ence is without comparison:
the glow of the screen, the
thrill of the words fitting
together, the satisfaction
of solving a pun. I spent the
next two weeks obsessed
with the crossword, like
someone who’d just eaten
sugar for the first time.
Until I realized I had sim-
ply replaced my Insta habit
with something equally
addictive.WEEK 7
Oops
Out of nowhere, a tiny devil
appeared on my shoulder
and whispered, “Hey, bitch,
you know you can just go to
Instagram dot com, right?”
I stood firm, but by the end
of the week, the voice had
become a scream. I asked
the friend who changed my
password to hand it over.
(She did. Thanks for noth-
ing!) Just steps away from the
finish line, I started binge-
ing useless content on the
desktop and mobile browser
versions. I eased my shame
by telling myself “using Insta-
gram” didn’t count if I didn’t
post. Sure, Jan.WEEK 8
So about those goals...
Okay, I cheated a little. But
this was the longest I’d been
without Instagram since
downloading it in 2011.
I thought for sure I’d be
a ~changed person~.
But while my hiatus didn’t
help me do anything
mind- blowing, I did achieve
smaller goals: I felt calmer
and stopped processing the
world around me in caption
format. It’s now been nearly
three months since the end
of my break, and I still
don’t have the app on my
phone, because—who
woulda thought?—scrolling
isn’t as great as
seeing something and
just...enjoying it.ILL
US
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