2019-09-01 Cosmopolitan South Africa

ILLUSTRATIONS

JUSTINA LEI

TEXT

COURTNEY PERKINS, AKA @NOTALLGEMINIS

HOROSCOPES

126

GEMINI

Swapping Insta

handles with

strangers.

Geminis love meeting

new people – then

flirting with said new

people. Find them

flitting from convo to

convo, quoting the

latest Chrissy Teigen

clap- backs.

Wait,anyoneseenCancer?

CAPRICORN

Playing mom.

‘Where is

the recycling

bin?!’ Catch

Cap at the end

of the night

yelling this.

ARIES
On the dance floor.
And not interested
in a chill sesh
at all. They’ll
blast Ariana
Grande until
your neighbours
complain.

LIBRA
Hiiiii!!!-ing
everyone.
Libras: total pros
at making speedy,
polite exits from
conversations so they
can focus on giving
out the max amount
of ‘OMG, YOU
CAME!’ hugs.

CANCER

With the dog.

In the event that you

actually coaxed a

Cancer to a party,

make sure to check

the host’s bedroom

every now and

then. They’re in

there petting the

resident furbaby.

LEO

Doing karaoke.

When a Lizzo

song comes

on, Leo will

not rest until

everyone

is singing.

AQUARIUS

Too extra for

a plus-one.

You’ll be 20 minutes

deep into a debate

with one (about

anything from

politics to whether

Pete Davidson is hot)

before you realise

you haven’t actually

introduced yourself.

SCORPIO

Not talking to you.

Scorpios are

standing with

the same three

people they came

with, and totally

uninterested in

meeting your

co-workers.

PISCES

Laugh-crying.

They’re all jokes,

kisses and

compliments.

Until the weed

candy gets

passed around.

Then they’re

staring deeply

into your eyes,

predicting

your future.

TAURUS

Pouring the drinks.
They’re making
sangria, refilling
the chip bowl,
getting water out
of the fridge for
their sober friend...
Basically,taking
care ofeveryone’s
everything.

SAGITTARIUS
Insisting on
a game of flip-cup.
You’ll hear ‘em
before you
see them. Have
they invited
you to play
beer pong,
Cards Against
Humanity, literally
anything yet?

COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA | SEPTEMBER 2019

VIRGO

Getting after it.

Virgo is here to let off steam,

mmkay? Enjoy as all the rants

they’ve saved up this week

come rushing out with

a glass of wine. Or 12.