Chat – 01 August 2019

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5

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Little

one

I’dsaygoodnight,

thencrymyself

tosleep

b

DYI

NG

HU

I’m cheating o

T

uckingmy

husbandof 25

yearsintobed,

I dimmedthelight

andlefttheroom.

‘Goodnight,love,’

I called,tearsstreaming

steadilydownmycheeks.

ThenI wentintothe

spareroom,lockingthedoor

behindme.

SinceAlanhadbeen

diagnosedwithAlzheimer’s

sixmonthsearlier,inJune

2016,ourlifehadbeenturned

upsidedown.

Whenhe’dfirststarted

forgettingthings,I’dputit

downto ageing.

Alanwas 22 yearsolderthan

me,buthadalwaysseemedfit

andhealthy.Andasa lawyer,

hereintheUS,hismindwas

usuallysharpasa tack.

Butsoonhewasforgetting

planswe’dmadehoursearlier.

Askingto watcha TVshow

we’dseenthenightbefore.

Sounlikehim.

Hewentto thedoctor,had

tests.Butthediagnosisstill

cameasa shock.

Alzheimer’sdiseaseis

degenerative,terminal.

ALLAlanwouldlosehis

NAMES

HAVE

BEEN

CHANGED.

WORDS:

KARA

O'NEILL.

PHOTOS

(POSED

BY

MODELS):

ALAMY,

GETTY

People think

I’m cruel,

butI can’t

putmylife

on hold...

Belle, 57

MY SECRET

ACROSS

1 Forestclearing(5)

5 Eggsoffish(3)

6 ... out,dwindle

away(5)

8 Disproportionate(5)

DOWN

1 Opening,break(3)

2 Schoolcraft

subject(3)

3 Femaledeer(3)

4 Spookily

strange(5)

7 Yet,poetically(3)

W

hat is the meaning

of ‘cupidity’? Solve

the crossword, then read

down the yellow squares.

The yellow shaded

squares will spell out the

competition answer.

TOENTER
Turntopage 54 fordetailsor
visitlifedeathprizes.com/win

Youranswer:

£50

Puzzle 7

24

memories, become increasingly

confused, could suffer mood

swings, depression, delusions...

He struggled to accept the

frightening diagnosis.

And, at first, we tried to carry

on as normal.

But Alan’s behaviour quickly

started to change.

By December 2016, he’d lose

his temper over the smallest

of things. Even me changing

the TV channel sent him flying

into a rage.

Each night, I helped him

to bed.

But, scared he’d lash out in

the middle of the night if he

woke up confused, I’d started

sleeping in the spare room.

Each night, I wept as I locked

my husband out.

I no longer felt safe in my

own home.

As time dragged on, I felt

more depressed myself.

While Alan could still

wash, dress and get

himself to the

toilet, holding

a conversation

with him became

pretty impossible.

‘He’s not

played for 10

years,’ I replied

gently, when

he asked why

his favourite

basketball

player wasn’t

featured in the

team line-up

one weekend.

‘Rubbish!’ Alan

snapped back.

Physically, my

husband was still there.

But mentally, emotionally,

he was gone.

For the next few months,

I struggled through.

With no children, and Alan

not up to visitors, we didn’t

often see people.

I took

the brunt

of Alan’s

temper. And

felt lonelier

than ever.

In June

2017, fed up of

crying myself

to sleep every

night, I took

my laptop

to bed with me

one evening.

Searched

for Ashley

Madison.

I’d heard

about it

through