not a good candidate for benefits. You’re going to be in pressure
situations in your relationship time and time again, and you
should know up front, right now, if this guy is ready to handle
it. If he goes into protect or fix-it mode, then he envisions you
as his woman. And he just might be worth the benefits.
Say you lose a loved one—someone really close to you. A
man who has plans for you will immediately offer some form of
comfort and help so that you can take the time to grieve. He
might ask you if he can take your kids out for a couple of hours
so you can have some time to yourself, or he might ask you if
he can go with you to the funeral home to be with you while
you see about the funeral arrangements, and so that he can ex-
press his condolences to your family. Note, ladies, he’s probably
not going to want to sit there and let you retrace your child-
hood and reminisce about the first time your deceased loved
one pushed you on the swing; that’s not about to happen—it’s
not what men do. But a real man will respond with some kind
of solution—he will do what he can to help you stop crying,
because no man wants to see his woman crying. If this man is
not comforting—if he’s not coming up with some solutions to
help you feel better, then he needs to be fired. He has no rights
to the benefits.