The Conscious Parent

need you to forgive them for their forgetfulness and distraction,
understanding that this is hormonal. They need you to cut them some
slack and let them defy you a little, knowing this is part of healthy
development. They need you to let go of them as your babies and tell
them, “You are ready to walk in your own shoes, no matter how scary.”
It’s at this time in their lives that children are exposed to cliques, as
well as to romantic crushes, in an environment of social politics that will
require them to endure the pain of betrayal, rejection, and a broken heart.
Each friendship will leave a mark on their personality as they morph into
who they think they need to be in order to fit in. Your task is to sit with
them and be the container for their angst, holding hope while never
minimizing what they are experiencing. Your children need you to be
there, stalwart in your presence, as they swim through wave after wave
of emotion. It’s essential you don’t try to “fix” their life, but simply
understand the chaos of these years. In this way, your children learn to
manage their emotions and create their own coping strategies. It’s as if
you were to say to them, “Even though you feel anchorless, abandoned
by your body, lost to your soul, I will sit here with you and reflect your
essence.”
If you become caught up in your children’s whirling emotions, swept
away by your own anxiety over what they are going through, you will be
unable to help them navigate the hardships of this phase. They require
you to remain steady, despite the fact you may feel frustrated and
impatient with their constantly morphing sense of identity, knowing this
is exactly where they need to be. Trivial as these things may seem to
you, they are meant to care about how they look, how many friends or