enemies they have, whether teachers praise them, how clever they are or
perhaps aren’t, whether they are invited to a birthday party or asked to be
someone’s prom date. If you tell them they shouldn’t worry about such
superficial matters, you alienate them. They will also believe it’s they
who are superficial. In other words, your spiritual obligation is to reflect
back to them the normalcy of their state and admire their shining
courage. The other aspect of social politics is the whole idea of the
groupie. In their desire to be part of a clique, our children may sell their
soul. So desperate are they for a sense of validation, they will forsake
their own truth and begin to imbibe the values of others. As we watch
them morph into a member of the “chic squad,” trying so desperately to
be one of the popular kids in school, we will have to stand quietly in the
shadows as they dress, listen to music, and cop an attitude alien to their
authentic self.
Our children may come to us filled with demands for the latest gadgets
and fashions. They may argue that their friends “all have these things”
and that without them they will be ostracized. In our desire to have our
children fit in, we may fall prey to their neverending demands, and in so
doing communicate that external factors such as possessions or the
opinions of those who are popular have great importance in sustaining a
person’s sense of self. However, if we can resist our children’s urges and
teach them instead to rely on their inner sense of worth, not their
acquisitions or standing in a social group, they learn not to blindly
follow the crowd.
michael s
(Michael S)
#1