Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

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PEARL 33


The Room: Keeping It Clean


The eyes swivel furtively down the hall. No footsteps. No voices. It


seems safe. The hand creeps slowly, tentatively, to the doorknob despite
the ominous warnings posted all around: “No Trespassing,” “Keep Out,”
“Enter at Your Own Risk.”
Sometimes a mom must risk personal safety in pursuit of a greater
cause — even if that cause is nothing more than curiosity. She turns the
knob and waits. Nothing. No booby traps. No sirens. No Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles lunging to grab her throat. A welcome breath of relief
passes her lips. Carefully, cautiously, she pushes open the door, shielding
her eyes in preparation for the sight. But it is too much. She screams.
Entering a child’s room can be hazardous to your health. The condition
of that room — or the toxicity of the health hazard, as the case may be —
can be cause for a great deal of parent-child friction. How much effort to
expend on the “condition of the sty” really depends on the age and
responsibility level of the child.
Toddlers and preschoolers can be taught the joy of having a clean room
by parental example. Parents can join the child in cleaning the room,
talking all the while: “Doesn’t it feel good to get all twenty-five of your
stuffed Snoopys in a row?” or “I feel so much better now that I know you
won’t trip on those dust balls.”
When we help our tykes clean their room, the unspoken message we
send is that there’s the job, there’s fun, and there’s us helping them.
However, when our children hit the third grade, it’s time to take one large
step back and out of the picture. Then there’s the job and there’s fun but

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