find a weak spot. You are sticking to your guns. Not only that, but you
are remaining fairly calm in spite of the aggravation.
There is one thing wrong with this example, however, and that has
to do with how you handle testing and manipulation. You would not
let the child switch tactics that many times (and you would also not
talk so much). What should you do, then? Well, if you look at our list
of six testing tactics, five of them (except butter up) are Stop
behavior. As you know, Stop behavior should be counted. So if a child
was pushing you this much, he should be counted.
This is how the scene should be handled using the 1-2-3 program.
Remember that the boy has already been given an explanation:
“Why not? Come on, just this once!” (Badgering)
“That’s 1.”
“I never get anything.” (Martyrdom, badgering)
“That’s 2.”
“I’ll clean the garage tomorrow.” (Butter up, badgering)
“That’s 3. Take ten.”
The third count is more for the badgering than the butter up, but
it’s obvious this kid’s not going to give up until the parent gently but
firmly puts his foot down. That goal is achieved by counting and the
resulting time-out.
Remember: with the exceptions of butter up and passive pouting,
testing and manipulation should be counted, especially in the
beginning when you’re just starting 1-2-3 Magic. Once the kids are
used to the discipline system, the less aggressive, less obnoxious
forms of testing can—at your discretion—occasionally be ignored.
The effectiveness of not responding at all (verbally or nonverbally) to
a child’s testing can be evaluated by how quickly the child gives up
the battle. Many kids soon learn that no response from you (ignoring)
means they’re not going to get their way or get effective revenge.
marcin
(Marcin)
#1