their favorite testing strategies, these children deteriorate in two
ways. Some will up the ante with a particular testing tactic. The
volume and length of a child’s tantrums, for example, may double.
Badgering may become more intense or aggressive, and martyrdom
may become more whiney and pathetic.
The other unpleasant change you may see initially in non-
cooperators is tactic switching. The kids may try manipulative
strategies you haven’t seen before, or they may return to others they
haven’t used for years. The most common switches involve going
from badgering and martyrdom (and whining!) to temper. Some kids,
quite understandably, blow up when their attempts to wear you down
with repetition or make you feel guilty fail. Although tactic switching
is aggravating, remember that switching is almost always a sign that
you are doing well at sticking to your guns. Keep it up!
What do you do when you’re faced with tactic escalation and tactic
switching? Several things are important: (1) Don’t get discouraged;
this is a normal stage many children go through while adjusting to 1-
2-3 Magic. (2) Count when necessary. (3) Keep your mouth shut
except for necessary explanations and the counting itself. Eventually,
tactic escalation and tactic switching will diminish and your children
will accept your discipline without having a fit every time you have to
frustrate them. You then have won the battle. You are the parent, they
are the children, and your home is a more peaceful place.
Quik TipWhen in doubt, count!