Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

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Are we ever going to decide? The second problem with deci­
sion making occurs when no decision gets made. Either ideas
slip away and dissipate, or people can't figure out what to do
with them. Or maybe everyone is waiting for everyone else to
make the decisions. "Hey, we filled the pool. Now you do some­
thing with it." In any case, decisions drag on forever.


DECIDE HOW TO DECIDE

Both of these problems are solved if, before making a decision,
the people involved decide how to decide. Don't allow people to
assume that dialogue is decision making. Dialogue is a process
for getting all relevant meaning into a shared pool. That process,
of course, involves everyone. However, simply because everyone
is allowed to share their meaning-actually encouraged to share
their meaning-doesn't mean they are then guaranteed to take
part in making all the decisions. To avoid violated expectations,
separate dialogue from decision making. Make it clear how deci­
sions will be made-who will be involved and why.
When the line of authority is clear. When you're in a position
of authority, you decide which method of decision making you'll
use. Managers and parents, for example, decide how to decide. It's
part of their responsibility as leaders. For instance, VPs don't ask
hourly employees to decide on pricing changes or product lines.
That's the leaders' job. Parents don't ask small children to pick
their home security device or to set their own curfew. That's the
job of the parent. Of course, both leaders and parents tum more
decisions over to their direct reports and children when they war­
rant the responsibility, but it's still the authority figure who decides
what method of decision making to employ. Deciding what deci­
sions to tum over and when to do it is part of their stewardship.
When the line of authority isn't clear. When there is no clear
line of authority, deciding how to decide can be quite difficult.

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