CHANGE YOUR LIFE 225one marshmallow in front of the child and exit. Some of the chil
dren delayed gratification. Others ate the marshmallow right
away. Researchers continued studying these children.
Over the next several decades, the children who had delayed
gratification ended up doing far better in life than those who
hadn't. They had stronger marriages, made more money, and
were healthier.3 This willingness to do without now in order to
achieve more later turns out to be an all-purpose tool for success.
How did the children who were able to delay gratification
fight off their short-term wishes? First, they looked away from
the scrumptious marshmallow that sat in front of them. No use
torturing themselves with the vision of what they couldn't have.
Second, they kept telling themselves that if they waited, they
would get two, not one. What could be simpler?
As you step up to a crucial conversation and wonder if it's
really worth trying out something new and untested, remind
yourself why you're trying new skills in the first place. Focus on
improved results. Remember what happens when you fall back
on your old methods.
Th ink "things." How can things help motivate you? Actually,
this particular concept isn't easy to grasp. An example might
help. You're unsuccessfully trying to lose weight. It turns out
that your early-morning iron will turns into midday rubber as
your stomach begins to growl and you sniff the air of the restau
rant you frequent for lunch. What can you do with things to help
keep you on track?
Pack a sensible lunch first thing in the morning when your will
is strong. Take no money with you. That way it won't be easy to
cave in to your weaker, afternoon wishes. By structuring around
your self-control cycles, you heighten the power of your stronger
motives while lessening the blow of you weaker moments.
Schedule crucial conversations when you're feeling confident.
Practice befurehHnd. Ta ke nutes. Set up your office the way you