admireme.IneedtobemeandIsupportyouinbeingyou.Iloveyou.ThistimewhenwetalkIwillbe
morepatientandunderstanding.Youdeservethat.
Iloveyou,Michael
PS. The response I would like to hear: I love you, Michael. I really appreciate what a caring and
understandingmanyouare.Itrustwecanworkthisout."
ALoveLetterAboutFrustrationandDisappointment
Jeanleftamessageforherhusband,Bill,sayingthatshewantedhimtobringsomeimportantmailhome.
Somehow,Billnevergotthemessage.Whenhearrivedhomewithoutthemail,Jean'sreactionwasstrong
frustrationanddisappointment.
AlthoughBillwasnotatfault,whenJeancontinuedmakingcommentsabouthowmuchsheneededthat
mallandhowfrustratedshewas,hestartedtofeelblamedandattacked.JeandidnotrealizethatBillwas
takingpersonallyallherfeelingsoffrustrationanddisappointment.Billwasabouttoexplodeandmakeher
wrongforbeingsoupset.
Insteadofdumpinghisdefensivefeelingsonherandruiningtheirevening,hewiselydecidedtotaketen
minutesandwriteaLoveLetter.Whenhefinishedwriting,hecamebackmorelovingandgavehiswifea
hug,saying,"Iamsorryyoudidn'tgetyourmail.IwishIhadgottenthatmessage.Doyoustillloveme
anyway?"Jeanrespondedwithalotofloveandappreciation,andtheyhadawonderfuleveninginsteadof
acoldwar.
ThisisBill'sLoveLetter:
DearJean,
1 .Anger:Ihatewhenyou.getsoupset.Ihatewhenyoublameme.Iamangrythatyouaresounhappy.
Iamangrythatyouarenothappytoseeme.ItfeelslikenothingIdoiseverenough.Iwantyouto
appreciatemeandbehappytoseeme.
2 .Sad:Iamsadthatyouaresofrustratedanddisappointed.Iamsadthatyouarenothappywithme.I
wantyoutobehappy.Iamsadthatworkisalwaysgettinginthewayofourlovelife.Iamsadthatyou
don'tappreciateallthewonderfulthingswehaveinourlives.IamsadIdidn'tcomehomewiththemall
youneeded.
3 .Fear:IamafraidIcan'tmakeyouhappy.Iamafraidyouwillbeunhappyallevening.Iamafraidtobe
openwithyouorbeclosetoyou.Iamafraidofneedingyourlove.IamafraidIamnotgoodenough.I
amafraidyouwillholdthisagainstme.
4 .Regret:IamsorrythatIdidn'tbringhomethemall.Iamsorryyouaresounhappy.IamsorrythatI