didn'tthinktocallyou.Ididn'twanttoupsetyou.Iwantedyoutobehappytoseeme.Wehaveafour-
dayholidayandIwantittobespecial.
S.Love:Iloveyou.Iwantyoutobehappy.Iunderstandthatyouareupset.Iunderstandthatyouneed
sometimetojustbeupset.Iknowthatyouarenottryingtomakemefeelbad.Youjustneedahugand
someempathy.Iamsorry.SometimesIdon'tknowwhattodoandIstartmakingyoubeinthewrong.
Thankyouforbeingmywife.Iloveyousomuch.Youdon'thavetobeperfectandyoudon'thavetobe
happy.Iunderstandthatyouareupsetaboutthemail.
Iloveyou,Bill
P.S.TheresponseIwouldliketohear:"Iloveyou,Bill.Iappreciatehowmuchyoudoforme.Thankyou
forbeingmyhusband."
STEP 2 :WRITINGARESPONSELETTER
WritingaResponseLetteristhesecondstepintheLoveLetterTechnique.Onceyouhaveexpressedboth
yournegativeandpositivefeelings,takinganadditionalthreetofiveminutestowriteaResponseLetter
canbeahealingprocess.Inthisletter,youwillwritethekindofresponseyouwouldliketohavefrom
yourpartner.
Itworkslikethis.Imaginethatyourpartnerisabletorespondlovinglytoyourhurtfeelings--theonesyou
expressedinyourLoveLetter.Writeashortlettertoyourselfpretendingitisyourpartnerwritingtoyou.
Includeallthethingsyouwouldliketohearfromyourpartneraboutthehurtsyouhaveexpressed.The
followinglead--inphrasescangetyoustarted:
Thankyoufor...
Iunderstand...
Iamsorry...
Youdeserve...
Iwant...
Ilove...
SometimeswritingaResponseLetterisevenmorepowerfulthanwritingaLoveLetter.Writingoutwhat
weactuallywantandneedincreasesouropennesstoreceivingthesupportwedeserve.Inaddition,when
weimagineourpartnersrespondinglovingly,weactuallymakeiteasierforthemtodoso.
Somepeopleareverygoodatwritingouttheirnegativefeelingsbuthaveahardtimefindingthefeelings
oflove.ItisespeciallyimportantforthesepeopletowriteResponseLettersandexplorewhattheywould
wanttohearinreturn.Besuretofeelyourownresistanceaboutlettingyourpartnersupportyou.This