she thinks and feels, and a man continues to feel love, interest,
caring, and desire for her, then she is ready to experience in-
creasing physical intimacy as well. As a woman slowly opens
up to experiencing more intimacy, she has a chance to rise up
in waves of increasing fulfillment and pleasure.
Likewise, in this stage the man feels a relief as well. He has
been looking forward to more physical intimacy. As the woman
experiences the ability to open up and share all of herself
mentally and emotionally, then they both rejoice in the oppor-
tunity to experience that love physically as well. A man’s heart
has a chance to open fully as he experiences increasing physical
intimacy.
WOMEN ARE LIKE WAVES
One of the challenges of this stage is for men to understand
that when a woman rises up she also comes crashing down.
Women are like waves, as I explain in Chapter 7 of Men Are
from Mars, Women Are from Venus. As a woman becomes more
vulnerable in the relationship, then quite naturally her feelings
tend to rise and fall. For many weeks she may feel very loving
and happy, but then suddenly, after the wave reaches its peak,
the wave crashes and she hits bottom.
Increased intimacy makes a woman feel more
vulnerable, and as a result her feelings will tend
to rise and fall like waves.When a woman’s wave crashes, she has very little to give,
temporarily. This is when a man is required to draw from his
skills of stage three and continue giving his best without ex-
pecting an immediate return. He has to remember he has the
power to provide for her happiness. When a man mistakenly
assumes that he
STAGE FOUR: INTIMACY / 93