develops in predictable stages. By understanding the four
levels of discernment, you can sense how close you are to
finding a soul mate. Let’s explore these levels in greater detail,
first for men and then for women.
LEVEL ONE FOR MEN: PHYSICAL ATTRACTION
At the first level, it is quite normal and natural for a man to be
physically attracted to many women. He is particularly attrac-
ted to the way a woman physically looks: her walk, her body,
her hair, her smile, her eyes, her height, her legs, her rear, her
breasts, and the overall shape of her body. Men tend to like
one or two particular features. For example, one man may
particularly be attracted to legs while another insists on blond
hair.
This physical attraction is the first and lowest level of dis-
cernment for men. Generally a young man starts out on this
level. Even a more mature man may regress to this level when
he is on the rebound from a relationship. A hungry man is not
picky about what food he eats.
Since this physical attraction is mindless, a man’s low level
of discernment is enormously influenced by what he sees on
TV and in movies and magazines. We are bombarded with
images of a particular type of woman who always appears
sexually receptive, responsive, and self-assured. We are hyp-
notized to want one type. This attraction has nothing to do
with whether a woman is his soul mate. A young and undis-
cerning man can even feel physical chemistry by looking at a
naked store mannequin.
Basically one female body type is heavily marketed to be
the most attractive to men. As a result, a man associates a cer-
tain body type with sexual receptiveness and is automatically
attracted to that type. Women also tend to consider that body
type to be the most beautiful and worthy of love
164 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.