- She may casually touch his hand while talking, as if to
acknowledge that she appreciates his understanding or
attentiveness. She may then simply smile in a way that
says, “I like feeling and connecting with you.” Or she
might raise her eyebrows as if to say, “Wow, that really
felt good.” - She may touch his leg above the knee or his shoulder as
she makes a point as if to acknowledge that she feels safe,
familiar, and comfortable with him. Then, after lifting her
hand, she pauses as if to catch her breath because the un-
expected spark of connection was so delightful that she
momentarily forgot what she was saying. - She may be playfully argumentative in a discussion or
even challenge his point of view in a manner that says,
“We don’t have to always agree, I like you anyway. I enjoy
another point of view and I am stimulated by what you
say.” - She may ask him to carry something or help her with
something. While he is helping, she may take a deep
breath and relax on the exhale, as if to say, “It’s so nice to
be able to relax and be taken care of. This is really so nice.” - She may ask him a question about something and then
playfully revel in his brilliance, as if to say, “I like the way
you think you are really helpful.” - At the end of a date she may look him in the eyes, slightly
tilt her head, smile, and then raise her chin slightly, as if
to say, “I really had a good time and if you want to kiss
me, I would like that too. Just do it.”
198 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.