the brain at a time, while women use many parts simultan-
eously. It is relatively easy for a woman to speak when she has
strong feelings, but for a man, the stronger the feelings, the
less he is able to think and speak. That is why when a man sees
a woman to whom he is attracted, he can’t easily figure out
how to approach her until she leaves, or when he does meet
her, he doesn’t know what to say. Some men become even
more nervous because they anticipate not knowing what to
say.
For many men, it is a relief to find out that almost all men
fumble the ball when approaching a woman. Women are used
to it and they are not judgmental about it. They think it makes
a man cute or charming. They are most flattered that he was
willing to overcome his nerves and take the risk to meet them.
The more inarticulate a man is, the more complimented a wo-
man will feel. The more foolish he is willing to risk appearing,
the more she feels he cares, and that is a big compliment.
A woman is impressed when a man is willing to try to meet
her even though he doesn’t have all the answers or isn’t com-
pletely perfect and smooth. If he can’t figure out what to say
or ask, he can just stand there with his head slightly down and
tilted to the side with a little smile, and a woman may fall in
love with him. She may be thinking, “He is so charming. He
doesn’t have to be smooth and come up with funny lines and
expressions to win a woman over. He just needs to take the
risk to meet her and be a good listener.”
Another important element in pursuing and flirting is the
art of complimenting the opposite sex. In Chapter 13 we will
explore in greater detail how to express our attraction to our
date.
MEN PURSUE AND WOMEN FLIRT / 201