- Don’t Say, “Are You Ever Going to Take a Breath?”
Here the message is that he is doing something wrong. This
can be hurtful, particularly if he is trying to win you over. In-
stead, say, “That’s very interesting. I think...”
Whenever a woman tells a man, “That’s very interesting,”
he feels heard and is then happy to relax and listen. A graceful
interruption allows a man to save face and doesn’t directly
point out that he has been talking too long.
- Don’t Say, “Do You Even Care What I Think?”
This makes you seem unnecessarily needy and resentful,
and it doesn’t express your most loving self. Instead, be playful.
If you feel that your point of view is being excluded, then be
playfully assertive, saying something like “Whoa (as if talking
to a friendly horse), hold it, I think...”
Men appreciate this assertiveness if it is done with a playful
tone, definitely not a mistrusting or hurt tone.
- Don’t Say, “You Don’t Understand...I Feel...”
This is the most annoying comment a woman can make to
a man. And yet it is her most instinctive and automatic re-
sponse. Certainly on Venus it is not intended to be offensive.
To another Venusian, it is easily understood, and her response
will generally be, “Oh, I’m sorry (as in Excuse me, I didn’t
mean to bump you), tell me again.” But a Martian’s response
is generally the opposite. He will become defensive. If she
thinks he doesn’t understand, then that is a signal that she
must think he is incompetent. Martians know that they must
appear competent whenever possible or they will not be suc-
cessful. They automatically become defensive. Instead
MEN ADVERTISE AND WOMEN SHARE / 227