- Don’t Say, “Are You Even Interested in What I Think?”
This sounds like a criticism and may unnecessarily turn him
off. Remember, he is interested in what the woman thinks, but
he is waiting for her to interrupt when she has something to
say.
Instead, say, “That is very interesting. I think...” and then
go on to express your opinion. Acknowledging that what a
man is saying is interesting before sharing your point of view
will make him more interested in what you say. While this
seems obvious to men, it is not to women. Women tend to
think that if they are interested listeners and ask lots of ques-
tions, then the man will stop talking and be interested in what
they think.
Women make the mistake of assuming that a man is not in-
terested if he doesn’t ask questions. The truth is: If he is talking,
it is a sign that he is interested in winning her over. If she then
gracefully interrupts, it allows him to become interested in
what she has to say and in her. The more she joins in the con-
versation, the more interested he will become.
- Don’t Say, “Let’s Talk About...”
While this is a fine way to change subjects, it is not a good
way to get him to stop talking. His response would generally
be, “Okay,” and then he would continue to talk about the new
subject.
Whenever a woman wants to change the subject, it is gener-
ous on her part to take a moment to acknowledge that what
the man has said has been valued or appreciated in some way.
Men need to feel as if they at least contributed something
useful, if not of interest. She could say, “Hmm, I would never
have thought of that,” and then just change the subject. There
is no need to say, “Now let’s talk about...”
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