- Don’t Say, “May I Ask You a Question?”
A woman should not wait to get a man’s permission before
expressing her opinion. Not only does it put her in a weak and
powerless position, but it also makes it very hard for him to
listen.
Many times a woman will say something like, “May I ask
you a question? I once had this experience...” She then goes
on to talk about what she wants to say. This is very frustrating
to the man because the whole time he is listening, he is trying
to figure out your question and prepare an intelligent answer.
If you want to talk, definitely don’t disguise it as a question.
Instead, just interrupt with a comment like, “That makes
sense. I remember an experience I once had...” This is a much
more graceful segue and it makes it much easier for him to
listen. A man loves to hear that he makes sense, and then he
will love to hear what you have to say. Remember that
whenever you ask a man questions, he will move into the mode
of talking and solving problems. If you want to be heard, don’t
ask him questions.
Not only does interrupting give you a chance to be heard,
but men like it. It is a sign that you are feeling self-assured,
that you trust that he cares to listen, that you accept his style
of just talking when you want to, that you are connecting to
him and willing to join with him in conversation, that you are
receptive to what he says, and that you are responsive.
I suggest that you now review the above statements and see
how they could easily be misunderstood by a Martian to make
you appear closed, resistant, resentful, critical, insecure, insig-
nificant, unworthy, unresponsive, and mistrusting. While cer-
tainly these are not accurate descriptions, take a few minutes
to reflect on how you may appear this way to an unsuspecting
Martian.
MEN ADVERTISE AND WOMEN SHARE / 231