self-assured, so that he will respect her wishes with regard to
her needs, her schedule, her preferences, and her beliefs and
considerations regarding physical and emotional intimacy.
In most cases, when a woman shifts to trying to earn a man’s
love and attention, she doesn’t even have a clue as to how she
may be preventing a man from becoming genuinely and act-
ively interested in her. When a man pulls away, a woman
commonly blames him and doesn’t realize how she can be part
of the equation.
When a man pulls away, a woman
blames him and doesn’t realize how
she can be part of the equation.Certainly a man likes it when a woman reacts as if he is
everything she wants, as if just being with him makes her
happy, as if she is getting everything she needs and he is per-
fect for her just the way he is. This kind of response is very
seductive. When she responds to him as if he has fulfilled all
her needs and in truth he really hasn’t, then the next day, as
she begins to feel what she is not yet getting, he begins to lose
interest and doesn’t even know why.
What Makes a Man ListenA woman’s attitude has the power either to turn a man on
or to turn him off. For example, a man will most respect and
want to hear what a woman has to say when she speaks in a
manner that first assumes he is interested. The very act of as-
suming a man will be interested makes him more interested.
Even if he wasn’t that interested in the subject matter, he will
become interested, because he is interested in her. It is all in
her approach.
278 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.