Body Language

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This is not to say that men don’t preen when a potential partner comes into
view. In addition to pulling in his stomach, expanding his chest, and lifting his
head like a conquering hero, a man smoothes his hair, straightens his tie,
adjusts his clothes, and flicks real or imaginary dust from his lapel.

If you’re a man and you want to see whether a woman finds you attractive,
tidy up your appearance by wearing a smart suit or a jacket and tie. A tie that
is loosely knotted and slightly off centre elicits a nurturing response in a
woman. She instinctively reaches out to make the necessary adjustments,
brushing your shoulder or lapel just in case a bit of fluff needs removing. If
she’s drawn to you, she wants to make you look like the perfect man she
hopes you are.

About the most sexually aggressive posture a man can display is where he
tucks his thumbs into his belt or the top of his pockets. With his arms in the
ready position and his fingers pointing to his genital area, men take this
stance to stake their claim or show other men they’re not to be messed
about. If a man uses this gesture in front of a woman he’s indicating that he’s
both dominant and virile.

If a woman sees a man with his thumbs in his pockets and his fingers pointing
toward his crotch combined with dilated pupils, a longer-than-usual gaze, and
one foot pointed toward her, she’s on a winner if she guesses he’s displaying
interest in her.

In the 15th century, the male codpiece was introduced (refer to Chapter 10
for more on the codpiece). The purpose of this not-so-subtle item of clothing
was to display the purported size of the man’s penis, which determined his
social status. New Guinea male natives still display their penises, while
Western men do so more subtly by wearing tight-fitting jeans, pocketsize
swimsuits, or dangling a bunch of keys in their nether regions. By having
something to fondle or hold onto in front of his crotch, a man has the perfect
excuse to put his hands down there to make any necessary adjustments.
Whereas a woman would never put her hands on her genitals in public, even
if she did have an itch down there, it’s quite normal and acceptable, at least
on the sports field, for a man to do just that.

A universal sign of attraction: Dilated pupils .................................


Anyone who has ever gazed longingly into another person’s eyes knows how
powerfully the eyes convey the message that says, ‘I find you incredibly attrac-
tive.’ What you may not realise is that your pupils dilate when something
arouses and stimulates you. As you can do nothing to control this reaction,
give up playing hard to get because anyone paying close attention sees your
pupils enlarging and knows they’re in with a chance.

226 Part IV: Putting the Body into Social and Business Context

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