Body Language

Holding and rubbing the head is self-comforting and by shutting the eyes the

person is blocking out both internal and external distractions. Even if he tells

you that he’s just got a headache, he’s still dealing with the pressure that

comes from the pain.

Signalling boredom

If someone’s eyes are dull and drooping and his head is resting in the palm of

his hand, you can bet he’s suffering a severe case of boredom. To keep him-

self awake he may doodle or occasionally shift in his seat.

Morten decided to go to a business conference where a client was making a

presentation. After a few minutes of listening to the man’s ramblings and

mumblings, Morten realised that the client was neither as smart nor as inter-

esting as he’d thought. Sitting towards the front of the hall in the middle of

the row, Morton was unable to easily get up and leave. Observing his fellow

delegates, he noticed that the majority of them weren’t looking at his client

and many were leaning backwards, resting their heads in their hands. A few

were doodling in their notebooks, not looking up. The speaker’s lacklustre

presentation was reflected in a feeling of boredom throughout the room.

Showing happiness

Signs of joy can be seen in someone whose torso leans forward, whose arms

are outstretched with the palms of his hands exposed, and who sports a wide

grin in which his eyes crinkle and his teeth are showing. This is a typical posi-

tion of a greeting when loved ones return after a long absence.

After leaving school, Nicky’s daughter Kiera went on a six-month tour around

the world. This was the first time that Kiera had been away from home for such

a long time and Nicky could hardly wait to see her return home safely. As Nicky

stood in the airport’s arrival hall she noticed parents of other young travellers

rushing forward to embrace their children as they came through customs. The

longer Nicky waited the more anxious she became. Finally, Kiera came through

the double doors. Nicky couldn’t restrain herself and ran forward, arms out-

stretched, and embraced her daughter, rocking back and forth while holding

her tightly, as if she’d never let go. She stroked Kiera’s head and kissed her

repeatedly as she laughed and cried with relief and happiness.

Dealing with a mismatch between

spoken and non-verbal messages

Words convey information and gestures convey attitude. People believe what

they see more than what they hear. Say, for example, that you and your partner

260 Part IV: Putting the Body into Social and Business Context