Body Language

Mirroring Others ..........................................................................................

By mirroring, or reflecting the behaviour of another person, you can create a

natural rapport that leads to effective communication. Mirroring the behav-

iour of another person tells him that what he’s doing is acceptable in the con-

text of your interaction. Mirroring demonstrates that you’re willing to echo

what you’re observing in order to create an environment where both you and

the other person can communicate freely and comfortably.

Once you have matched the other person’s behaviour you can then take the

lead yourself and get him to mirror yours. For tips and techniques for effective

mirroring techniques, head to Chapter 1. I also recommend Neuro-linguistic

Programming For Dummies by Romilla Ready and Kate Burton.

Practising Gestures ......................................................................................

Some people struggle when it comes to using appropriate gestures to express

themselves effectively. Smiling, opening their arms, and standing upright just

doesn’t sit comfortably with them. One person I know, who’s a thoroughly

pleasant fellow, habitually frowns, making him look angry and out of sorts. He

wasn’t aware that he had this habit until someone pointed it out to him. His

genuine interest in other people means that he really concentrates on what

they do and say, causing his brow to furrow. He thought he was showing

interest. Other people thought he was showing disapproval.

If you want to project a specific image or attitude you may need to practise

the appropriate gestures until they become a natural part of your behav-

ioural repertoire. It may feel uncomfortable at first, as any new habit does.

The more you practise the more at ease you feel and the gestures become

second nature.

Developing Timing and Synchronisation ..................................................

How people relate to time is central to who they are. In Western cultures

people are obsessed with time and place a high value on punctuality and

keeping to a pre-determined schedule. They consider keeping another person

waiting to be rude and hostile.

If you want to impress others in such a culture, fill your time with meetings,

appointments, and activities. Moving and working at a fast pace earns you

Chapter 20: Ten Ways to Improve Your Silent Communication 287