Acting the Way You Want to Be Perceived ................................................
First, you decide how you want to be perceived. Then, you behave in a way
that creates that impression.You may never have thought about the way you act, thinking that how you
behave is just fine. And it probably is, most of the time. Just remember, if you
want to be perceived in a certain way you have to give some thought to your
behaviour. If you want people to think that you’re the life and soul of the
party you smile, laugh, and make an effort to put other people at their ease. If
you want to be taken seriously, your actions need to be more contained, and
your facial expression more sober. The trick is to determine how you want
people to perceive you, and after that, to take on the behaviour of that kind
of person.Demonstrating Awareness ..........................................................................
Some people just don’t get it. They seem to be blind to their own behaviour
and the impact it has on others. If you pay attention to the reactions of other
people you develop an awareness of what works when and where.You may say that what other people think about you doesn’t matter. And in
many ways you’re right. Yet at particular times someone’s opinion of you can
matter very much. By knowing how certain people respond to specific behav-
iours, you can adapt your style to meet theirs thus creating an environment
that’s conducive to successful communication.In addition to focusing on your own behaviour, observe how other people
behave. By paying attention to how someone else is conducting himself you can
respond in a way that makes that person feel noticed and valued. And if you
make someone feel that he matters, you’re going to matter very much to him.Asking for Feedback.....................................................................................
It doesn’t hurt, well, not too much, to ask how people perceive you. If their
response matches your vision of yourself, all’s well. If, however, they tell you
one thing and you thought you were projecting something else, you may want
to spend some time re-evaluating your perceptions.Chapter 20: Ten Ways to Improve Your Silent Communication 289