Body Language

Creating intimate feelings

By letting your gaze wander from the receiver’s eyes down the face and

below the chin to other parts of the body, you’re indicating an interest far

removed from the world of business or a friendly ‘hello’. In allowing your

eyes to wander over your target’s face and body, you’re showing that you’re

attracted to that person. If the look is returned, you may be onto a winner. If

not, revert to the social gaze or else you may find yourself in big trouble.

When a woman finds someone attractive she may give that person a side-

ways glance with dilated pupils. This is referred to look as a ‘come hither’

look because it’s saying, ‘Come and get me.’ If she doesn’t want to be so obvi-

ous she uses the Social Gaze and keeps her target guessing. (For more infor-

mation on all the uses and meanings of sideways glances, go to the section

‘The sideways glance’ later in this chapter.)

78 Part II: Starting at the Top

Pupils, babies, and the art of the deal

Confucius said, ‘Look into a person’s pupils. He

cannot hide himself.’ By observing the pupils of

another person’s eyes, you can tell whether or

not she likes what she’s looking at. If her pupils

resemble warm drops of chocolate, you know

that whatever they’re responding to is having a

positive impact. If they’re steely and small, best

move away fast! Dilated pupils show a

favourable response; constricted pupils don’t.

Remember, too, that pupils respond to light.

They enlarge when the lighting’s dim and con-

tract under bright conditions.

Consider these other fun tidbits:

Research shows that most women’s eyes

dilate to their extreme when looking at

images of other mothers and children. The

next time you get a chance, observe a

mother watching her newborn child.

Newborn babies and young children appear

to have larger pupils than adults. When in

the company of adults, it’s quite common for

the child’s and infant’s eyes to dilate in an

unconscious attempt to look appealing and

gain the adult’s attention. It’s a phenomenon

that toy manufacturers (and cartoonists)

recognise. To see for yourself, go into a

children’s store and have a look at the best-

selling dolls and cuddly animals: The eyes

almost always have oversized pupils.

The ancient Chinese gem traders were

expert in watching their buyers’ eyes when

negotiating prices. If the pupils dilated, the

trader knew she was offering too good a

deal and had to negotiate harder.

Courtesans and prostitutes were known to

make themselves appear more enticing and

desirable by putting drops of belladonna in

their eyes to dilate their pupils.

It is said that the reason the late Aristotle

Onassis wore dark glasses when negotiat-

ing business deals was to prevent his eyes

from revealing his thoughts.

Of course, without using artificial means, such

as the courtesans did, pupil dilation is beyond

your control.