To show disapproval, disagreement, and
other not-so-pleasant feelings
Of course, not all gazes are warm and friendly. Often gaze alone can indicate
displeasure. Beady little eyes, snake eyes, and shooting daggers with the eyes
are sure signs of disapproval or disagreement. If a person holds your gaze for
more than two thirds of the time and the pupils are constricted you can bet
you’re in disfavour. If, however, you’re able to hold the gaze for several seconds
longer than you normally would without looking away – an action that would
indicate submission – you can send out your own message of disagreement.Because your pupils contract when you’re angry or in a negative mood, the
eyes look harsher and less friendly. Fake your smile and backslap all you
want, if you’re not pleased with what’s going on and don’t want to give the
game away you’d better put on your dark glasses to hide your feelings.To show dominance .............................................................................
A dominant person is the one with authority. This person takes command,
holds the power, and influences others. The dominant person is in charge.People in positions of dominance use eye contact confidently. Because
they’re sure of themselves, their eye movements tend to be slow and smooth.
They’re comfortable looking at another person for an extended period of
time, being careful not to stare, which would just make them look slightly
mad or rude.Gazing is done in two ways: away from, and towards. Both types of eye place-
ment can successfully demonstrate dominance. Those in control of the inter-
action demonstrate their dominance by choosing when and how long to look
at the other person. The following sections explain how dominance can be
conveyed through the power of the gaze.Chapter 5: The Eyes Have It 79
Clinton’s gaze
People who have met Bill Clinton report that he
has a way of looking at a person that makes that
individual feel as though not only is she impor-
tant, but that no one else matters at that point.
Like many powerful and successful people, he
uses his eyes to engage his listener by letting
his gaze scan slowly across the other person’s
eyes and face as he speaks, The listener feels
that no one else is in their vicinity and that she
is totally the object of his attention.