It seems to me that trying to help someone who ―doesn‘t get it‖ to a place
where they ―get it‖ is a challenge. I get a thrill out of writing these books and
teaching these seminars because I have a chance to reveal a complex and
mysterious area of life to people for whom it‘s extremely important. Seeing the
light bulb go on when a guy suddenly ―gets it‖ is very rewarding, and it‘s proof
that just because you don‘t ―get it‖ now, doesn‘t mean it‘s impossible.
Default Behavior vs. Taking Charge
Inside this book you‘ll often hear me talk as if we humans are very close to
robots, blindly responding to external and internal influences, as if we didn‘t
have a choice in the matter at all...
Even though I don‘t believe this is actually the case 100% of the time, I
believe that for most people it‘s true most of the time.
Essentially, after years of studying human psychology and behavior, I think
that given a random person in a random situation you can usually predict the
outcome—if you understand the dynamics involved.
(I do believe that we can reprogram ourselves and learn new ways of
thinking, feeling, and behaving... but this process requires much time, effort,
and energy in most cases.)
Face it, humans act like sheep a lot more often than we‘d like to admit.
The important question right now is: Are you going to act like a sheep?
Are you going to keep doing what you‘ve been programmed to do by your
genetic code, your social conditioning, your past, your friends and family?
Or are you going to take control of yourself and your life by learning how
and why humans behave in ways that are self-defeating, self-sabotaging, and
not useful? More importantly, do you want to learn how to change? It‘s up to
you to accept that there are default patterns in your behavior and to decide to
change them.