464 The Spiritual Man
why has the Lord left me? The believer is completely mystified. He
can only conclude that he must have sinned against the Lord
somewhere and hence this forsaken condition. And Satan accuses
him too, reinforcing the false notion that he has actually sinned.
Wherefore he cries in prayer to the Lord for forgiveness, hoping to
regain what he has lost.
The believer’s prayer is nonetheless ineffectual. Not only is he
unable to have the lost experience instantly restored; he also day by
day grows colder and drier in his feelings. He loses interest in
everything. Previously he could pray for hours: today even a few
minutes becomes forced. He has no inclination to pray at all. The
reading of the Bible, which in the past greatly interested him,
currently looms before him as a massive rock from which he can
derive no nourishment. He experiences no pleasure when
fellowshiping with others or undertaking any task; he engages in
these affairs merely because a Christian is expected to do them. All is
dull and forced.
Confronted by such a sensation some Christians, not all, shrink
back. Many matters which they know belong to God’s will are left
undone because they have fallen into despondency. Many duties go
unfulfilled. Their former conduct which they had corrected during
the period of ecstasy returns to them. What they pitied others for in
earlier days has presently become their own experience. They adopt
talkative, frivolous, jesting and fun-loving manners. Although they
had undergone a change, that change did not last.
When a child of God is stripped of his joyous feeling, he
concludes that all is gone. Since he no longer senses the Lord’s
presence, surely the Lord cannot possibly be with him. If he does not
feel the warm affection of the Lord, he most certainly must have
displeased Him. As this experience lengthens, the believer seems to
lose even the sense of God. He will therefore seek earnestly to
recover what he has lost, so long as he does not faint in his heart. For