being honest about what goes on behind closed doors. But we’re here
to tell you that it does exist and it’s not even a rare occurrence. After
all, secure people make up over 50 percent of the population and their
inner circle is treated like royalty.
“Smoking Guns” in Marsha and Craig’s
Story
Within the first weeks and months (!) of Marsha and Craig’s
relationship, various signs—as obvious as smoking guns at a
crime scene—could have alerted Marsha to the trap she was
getting into:- Craig ignored Marsha when she came to cheer him on
during track practice. - He tried to hide the fact that they were a couple.
- He was surprised that Marsha stopped seeing her ex-
boyfriend (suggesting that he didn’t value commitment
himself ). - He made devaluing and degrading remarks about her.
- He compared her unfavorably to his “phantom ex,”
Ginger. - He responded to Marsha’s worries and self-doubts in a
way that made her feel worse. - Most important, in all of these actions, he conveyed a
strong message that he was not able to properly take
care of Marsha’s emotional needs.
For more about smoking guns, see chapter 5.