concern, but instead of helping, it only serves to remind him again and
again of his condition. He trusted his doctor and felt that there was no
need for further inquiry. He felt that Monica’s behavior was not only
ineffective in improving his health but also harmful to their relationship.
Monica realized that she wasn’t helping Andres—it was her way of
dealing with such a diagnosis, but it wasn’t his. She understood that
she could be a better, more supportive partner by respecting his
wishes instead of trying to force her own. Since then, Monica has been
able to censor herself more (though not completely), which has allowed
the clashes between them to diminish.

USING EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION TO

ENSURE YOUR NEEDS ARE MET IN THE

RELATIONSHIP

Monique and Greg have been going out for a couple of months, and
the Fourth of July is around the corner. Monique plans to celebrate the
event with a group of friends, but she hasn’t invited Greg to join her, at
least not yet. Greg is becoming more and more upset by this. He’s
worried about what this means. Does Monique only see him as
someone temporary in her life? Perhaps she’s embarrassed by him
and doesn’t want to introduce him to her friends? Greg doesn’t want to
confront her directly for fear it will make him seem too eager and
needy. Instead he decides to throw out hints: “I’m not sure yet what I
should do on the Fourth. I’ve had a few offers, but I can’t decide if any
of them are worthwhile.” In fact, he doesn’t have other plans, but he
doesn’t want to sound like he’s fishing for an invitation. Monique
doesn’t pick up on his cues; she assumes he really is sizing up his
options and tries to help out. At this point Greg decides to just give up,
thinking that if, after all these hints, Monique still chooses not to invite
him, she obviously doesn’t want him to come. Anger builds up inside
him and he decides he will have to think long and hard about whether
Monique is really the girl for him.