significant. If he continues to belittle her and devalue her feelings, then
she must ask herself whether she wants to be with someone like that
for the long-term.
- On a car ride, Ruth is telling John how concerned she is about
their daughter’s difficulties in math. John nods throughout the
conversation but doesn’t say much. After a few minutes, Ruth
lashes out: “Why is this only my problem? She’s your daughter
too, but you don’t seem to care. Aren’t you worried about her?”
John is taken aback by the attack. After a minute or so, he says,
“I’m really exhausted and the driving is sapping all of my energy.
I am very worried about this too, but I can barely concentrate on
the road as it is.”
John’s reaction is:- Secure
- Insecure
Insecure tactics John used:Secure tactics John could use:Answer: Secure. Secure people aren’t saints! They can get tired
and feel impatient at times, and their minds drift like everyone else’s.
The key is how they react once conflict arises. Notice how John
doesn’t retaliate or act defensive when Ruth attacks him. He maintains
focus on the problem, answers in a straightforward way (“I’m really