exhausted.. .”), and shows a genuine awareness for his wife’s well-
being by validating her concern (“I am very worried about this too”).
Secure tactics John could use: John did a pretty good job; he
averted an unnecessary escalation and calmed his partner down.
Imagine if he’d snapped, “Goddamnit! Can’t you see how tired I am?
What do you want to do, get us in an accident?” Fortunately, he
understood that his wife’s accusation came from a place of distress
rather than criticism, and he tackled the real problem, assuring her that
they’re partners where their daughter’s welfare is concerned.
- Steve, who has been dating Mia for a few weeks, calls her on
Friday afternoon to ask if she’d like to join him and his friends
that night at the local bar. Mia gets upset because Steve almost
always wants to meet her with his friends, while she prefers a
one-on-one rendezvous. “You’re really scared of being alone
with me, huh? I don’t bite, you know,” she says half jokingly.
After an awkward silence, Steve replies, “Well, call me later if
you want to go,” and hangs up.
Steve’s reaction is:- Secure
- Insecure
Insecure tactics Steve used:Secure tactics Steve could use:Mia’s reaction is: