- Secure
- Insecure
Insecure tactics Mia used:
Secure tactics Mia could use:Answer: Steve—Insecure. Steve tries to avert a confrontation or
an intimate conversation and withdraws instead of engaging. He
doesn’t try to find out what was on Mia’s mind; he simply vanishes.
Secure tactics he could use: For starters, it seems that Steve is not
really interested in anything serious. Otherwise he probably wouldn’t
choose to bring an entourage on every date. If, however, he does want
to make the relationship work, Steve should stay focused on the
problem and ask Mia what she meant by her statement. Granted, she
did sound a bit cynical, but if Steve were smart (and secure), he
wouldn’t take it personally. He would try to see what was on her mind
and how it could be used to take the relationship to a higher (and more
intimate) level.
Answer: Mia—Insecure. But what about Mia? Her reaction was
also insecure. Her attempt to effectively communicate her needs
sounded a bit too much like an attack. She will now be left wondering,
did I upset him? Did he think I was criticizing him?
Secure tactics Mia could use: Mia could have said something like,
“You know, I’d rather not be with the crowd all the time. I enjoy being
alone with you; how about we make plans for us?” (effectively
communicating her needs). Steve’s reaction would have revealed