Attached

elevated as long as you are in physical proximity! The implications of
this study are profound: When our partner is unable to meet our basic
attachment needs, we experience a chronic sense of disquiet and
tension that leaves us more exposed to various ailments. Not only is
our emotional well-being sacrificed when we are in a romantic
partnership with someone who doesn’t provide a secure base, but so
is our physical health.
It seems, then, that our partners powerfully affect our ability to thrive
in the world. There is no way around that. Not only do they influence
how we feel about ourselves but also the degree to which we believe
in ourselves and whether we will attempt to achieve our hopes and
dreams. Having a partner who fulfills our intrinsic attachment needs
and feels comfortable acting as a secure base and safe haven can
help us remain emotionally and physically healthier and live longer.
Having a partner who is inconsistently available or supportive can be a
truly demoralizing and debilitating experience that can literally stunt our
growth and stymie our health. The rest of the book is about how to go
about finding a partner who can become your secure base, becoming
that kind of partner yourself, and helping your existing partner take on
this life-altering role.